Why you can never let love escape… Friday 25 April, 2014

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Hurt people hurt people, right? It’s proven. I was coming out of another failed “relationship”. I put quotations around that word because what I was leaving was more like a rest stop on the way to a destination more than a destination itself. I started to think about the ways I’d been hurt and the […]

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Hurt people hurt people, right? It’s proven.

I was coming out of another failed “relationship”. I put quotations around that word because what I was leaving was more like a rest stop on the way to a destination more than a destination itself. I started to think about the ways I’d been hurt and the ways in which I then hurt others and I started to see a through line—we were creating a cycle that was built on the foundation of pain. Everyone I’d encountered to that point had a brokenness in them that I was trying to fill with my own brokenness; but we all know that 0 x 0 never makes a number more than 0. Every man who has been hurt blames the woman solely and vice versa, but I believe that we all play our part in the theater of broken hearts. I started writing this film to shine a light on both sides and because I am a woman, I tapped my friend and fellow actor, Anthony B. Phillips to tell the story with me because I wanted a man’s firsthand perspective.

I wanted both men and women to see the power they have to hurt one another. The decision to make the film silent came out of a desire to have the focus be on the experience of all of these people not on what they’re saying. Words mean nothing because in the end all we carry with us is how we were made to feel. It’s all about responsibility to me. We all have to be responsible for the people we are in relationships with. You don’t want to be the reason someone is ruined. Even if the relationship doesn’t work out, no one should walk away empty-handed. There should be something beautiful that each person gets to keep and it should be the memory of what you built together. Too few people have that at the end of a relationship.

Outside of the conversation about responsibility in relationships and the examination of who’s to blame for all the brokenness, I’ve always been a fan of those classic Black love stories like Love Jones, Love and Basketball, The Best Man, etc.. and I hadn’t seen anything like that in a very long time. I wanted to see Black people living and learning through love the way other races are allowed to cinematically. There’s been such a resurgence of Black stories but the love is still missing somewhere in there—so I wanted to fill that void.

I hope our little film is taking up some space in people’s hearts.

Written by Iman Milner

Iman Milner-006web

Editress’ note:

When love hurts, I need someone to protect me from my thoughts. Well, I used to feel that way because it hit twice and I would go mad trying to sort it all out. First, it would be difficult to accept that I wasn’t prepared to love that person unconditionally (it’s easy when you’re both laid back and can turn every problem into a joke, but challenging when their imperfection catches you off guard). It also hurts when you find yourself wrestling with the familiar ideas during the rocky phase: “Is this person the one? I shouldn’t still miss my ex. I love him, we have to make it work. When have I ever let someone talk to me like this? To be nice now would be fake. I don’t know what else to do…”

I’m pleased to share the short film, “Love Escapes Us,” starring Iman Milner, with the Live Unchained audience because its not the typical story of navigating love’s challenges. This beautifully shot and edited film has a smart aesthetic that captures emotion without words. The aesthetic reminds me of Bradford Young (Middle of Nowhere, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Mother of George).

After watching “Love Escapes Us” I got it: Love doesn’t escape us, it only challenges us to grow. Whether we’re being challenged to see the ways in which we block it when it’s trying to surround us or whether we’re being challenged to let it go and trust that whatever happens next is for the best. Even if we don’t get the lesson the first time, there’s always another chance. The pity is not so much in losing that person, but missing an opportunity to expand. And, sometimes a work of art like “Love Escapes Us” helps you see the beauty in the journey. Please watch and let us know what this means to you. Iman is right: ” Even if the relationship doesn’t work out, no one should walk away empty-handed. There should be something beautiful that each person gets to keep and it should be the memory of what you built together.” The faces change, but the lessons stay the same. I think you’ll definitely see yourself and what you may want to do differently in “Love Escapes Us.”

Forward ever,

Kathryn

More about “Love Escapes Us”:

“Love Escapes Us” is the compelling tale of the cycle of love and heartbreak as told through the experiences of two people who fall in love during the wrong season. King (Anthony B. Phillips) and Queen (Iman N. Milner) journey through an emotional path of one anotherʼs love throughout this poignant story.

A film by Craig Tovey.

Writers: Iman N. Milner & Anthony B. Phillips

Director, DP, & Editor: Craig Tovey

Producer: Edwin Walker

Music by Sigur Ros

Starring:
Iman N. Milner
Anthony B. Phillips
CJ McBath 
Joi Liaye
Dwain Perry
Aaron Jennings
CeCe Brazelton

#LoveEscapesUs

Facebook: ‪https://www.facebook.com/LoveEscapesU…

Twitter: @bestnewactress (Iman), @MacaroniTonyyy (Anthony), @craigtovey

Email: loveescapesus@gmail.com

 

 

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